The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize