i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize