yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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