I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
