Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
