No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
