ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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