ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
