just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Less talking, more tequila
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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