White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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