the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
