I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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