i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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