Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
