she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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