I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
