Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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