I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
