i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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