just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
a search helicopter?!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
