how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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