She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
