we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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