dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
