some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Who died my cat blue again?
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