i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
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Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
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No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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