he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize