I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
