guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize