Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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