Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
