Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
