Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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