When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
