Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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