Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
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