She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she looked like the before picture.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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