About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
