We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Holy shit dude........stairs
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