I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Enjoy the penises
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
