You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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