My hair reeks of homosexuality.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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