Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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