u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im six kinds of drunk right now
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
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