I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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