There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
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