Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
