Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
