Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Congratulations! We have a period
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
