Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
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That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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