they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
