so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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