Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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