he puts the penis in happiness.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Boobs speak an international language.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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