I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
