he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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