You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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