I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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