I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
