you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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