let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
